After she hung up the phone, she went back to bed. It was a cold morning and the forecast had predicted snow. It felt good to get under the covers. She wondered if her husband was cold and thought about visiting him in a few hours. The detectives had said she could see him at 1:00 in the Federal Building, so he was probably there right now being questioned. At least they weren’t taking him to Rikers'. That place gave her the creeps, she had heard many horror stories about it, and hated the thought of having to go to that Island to visit him

She already missed her husband, and he had only been gone for a few hours. Suddenly her thought were interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. She ran into the kitchen, picked it up and said hello. The voice on the other end was one that she did not recognize, it was a male with a typical New York accent.
“Are you okay,” he had asked.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t worry we will take care of everything,” and then he hung up. She sat on the couch trying to sort out this new twist. She figured that Jimmy had called the man in charge to let him know what was going on, and he had called her to reassure her. He probably didn’t want her to panic and start saying things she shouldn’t say. She felt sure that she had handled the detectives reasonably well. So they were going to take care of everything, which meant that they would be providing a lawyer. Maybe everything would be okay, she told herself, trying very hard to stay calm.

By then it was time to get dressed and take the baby to her mother’s. She told her mother that her husband had been arrested and tried to say as little about it as possible. In their family they never really discussed problems, and mostly kept things hidden from each other, and at times like this she was glad.

Finally after taking three buses, she arrived at the Federal Courthouse in Brooklyn. She had to go through a metal detector as she entered the building and then asked the guard at the desk for Detective Goodman. She was told to wait as he made a phone call and a few minutes later Goodman and her partner emerged from the elevator.

“Good afternoon, if you don’t mind we would like to speak to you before you see your husband”. They led her down the hall into a small room. When they were all seated Goodman said, “Okay, here’s what’s going on.”

Agent Goodman explained that her husband had been implicated in the robbery of two armored cars. One of the other crew members had been arrested on another offense and had given them the stolen car. They were going to use DNA samples to prove that her husband had been in the car, plus they had a witness and were going to put him in a line-up, and although he was wearing a mask, they were still confident that that could get a positive ID. Since her husband did not have a record, they had arrested him first, hoping that he would be willing to cooperate. They were after the boss, the man who had come up with this plan, which was only one of many.

If he did not cooperate he was looking at a sentence of fifteen years. That would be his daughter’s whole childhood, she would practically be an adult by the time he got out. The detectives were asking her to reason with her husband, and help him make the right decision. The whole situation seemed surreal to her, she was so confused and scared. Why should she have to make this decision? If her husband pleaded innocent, they would pay for his lawyer, it would probably be a long drawn out process, going back and forth to court. Would he be able to get off? Fifteen years is a long time, was it worth the risk?

After thinking it over for a few minutes she had some questions.
“What would be the penalty if he pleads guilty and cooperates?”
“We would ask the judge for leniency, however, there is no guarantee, he could get probation or he could get up to five years.”
“What about our safety, wouldn’t it be dangerous for him to testify?”
“Well, yes, so we would put you in the witness protection program.”

Just when she thought things could not get any worse, they did. She couldn’t go in the witness protection program. She had agreed to give her ex husband legal custody of their two children. They had what she considered a perfect arrangement, she did not work, and picked the kids up from school every day, they ate dinner at her house and then went home to their dad’s in the evening, and she had them every other weekend. But she wouldn’t be allowed to take them with her. There was no way she was going to go away and never see them again, not even be able to talk to them on the phone, or write to them. But would it be safe for her and they baby to stay in the city if her husband went? No of course not, they would use his family to try to get to him. She needed some time to think about this, it was an impossible decision.

She told the detectives that she would discuss it with her husband, and they finally had him brought in. He was happy to see her, but he was obviously very scared. She had never seen him so panicked. He was usually so cool and calm, always assuring her that everything would be alright, but not this time, this really got to him and he was not even trying to hide his fear. They talked briefly about the options and then he asked her, “what should I do?’

It was Jimmy Lorenzo*, he had gone out with her sister for eight years. He was always at their house when they were kids. Her sister had finally broken up with him when she had started college and he had showed no sign of ever wanting to get a job. He had a new car and always seemed to have money, but no one really knew how he made his money. When her husband had lost his job last summer, he had begun going to the park with her and their daughter. They had run into Jimmy and his girlfriend who also had a baby girl around the same age. She had wound up introducing them and they all spent many lazy afternoons hanging out in the park. A friendship had developed and they had been to each others houses for cookouts and they had gone to Jimmy’s daughter’s two year old birthday party in January, but last month when he had been invited to theirs he had said that it wasn’t a good idea for them to be seen together, too many questions were being asked. She had thought he was just being paranoid. He was an extremely private person and tended to be very secretive.

So she admitted to knowing him and explained that he dated her sister, but left out the rest. And she had to give them his name. She didn’t think that wasn’t a big deal, after all everyone in the neighborhood knew him, or at least knew of him.

They asked her a few more questions, which she answered honestly, she told them the name of the bar where her husband worked, but only knew the first name of his boss.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, they were ready to leave. Agent Goodman gave her a business card and told that her husband was being held in the Federal Building in Brooklyn and to come by at one o’clock and she would be able to see him.

She wondered what exactly her husband had done and what evidence they had against him. If they had a witness he was probably in a lot of trouble. Her husband was just over six feet tall and had red hair and when he had a beard it was also red, not exactly your average looking guy on the street. I wish I could talk to someone about this, she thought. But she knew she shouldn’t say anything over the telephone, besides it was still very early in the morning. She took the baby into her room and lay down on the bed, softly whispering the magic words, “don’t worry honey, everything is going to be all right.” These words however were not meant for the baby, they were meant for her. Eventually her little one fell asleep, but she could not.

She was worried and felt helpless. What would her husband want her to do? He would probably want her to warn the others, but she did not want to appear involved in this in any way. But finally she decided to call Jimmy hoping he could tell her what to do, or reassure her in some way. Maybe his girlfriend would answer and they could talk a bit. But when she called them it was Jimmy who answered.

“A bunch of people came to my house this morning.” After a short pause he responded,
“When the left, did they take anything with them?”
“Yeah”
“Okay, we’ll get back to you”, and with that he was gone.

*pseudonym

“Your husband is being arrested for armed robbery”. She had to let the words sink in. Panicking, she asked if she could see him before they took him away. Agent Goodman agreed and they went into the bedroom, where her husband was now fully dressed. She went over to him and hugged him, but he could not hug her back because his hands were cuffed behind his back. But his kissed the top of her head and softly spoke the magic words, “Don’t worry honey, everything is going to be all right.” With that he was taken away.
“We would like to ask you a few questions,” Agent Goodman was now joined by another plain clothes agent, this one male, he seemed very serious and took out a notebook and a folder. Oh my God, she began to panic again, she had seen many detective shows on television where they play, good cop bad cop. Is that what they were going to do to her? She needed a few minutes to collect her thoughts so she went into the kitchen to get the baby a bottle. She came back in and sat down at the dining room table.
“Has your husband recently changed his appearance, cut his hair or shaved his beard?’
She knew that he had, but she thought it was because he had gone on an interview. She wasn’t sure how to answer, she didn’t want to get him into trouble. Wasn’t there a law that said a wife couldn’t be forced to testify against her husband? She did not want to be involved in this. Her mind raced as she tried to think of a way to avoid answering the questions without actually lying. She had never been a good liar, she hated doing it, and she was afraid of lying to the detectives. But what exactly does recent mean? How recent? He had cut his hair and shaved his beard months ago. That’s not exactly recent, she thought, so she somewhat honestly answered “no”.
But the detectives were better at this than she was.
“Has your husband ever had a beard?”
Her mind raced as she tried to think of a way out of this one, it seemed impossible so she answered truthfully though she was still trying to defend him. She told them that he sometimes didn’t shave for a week his beard would grow, and then he would shave it. There, they couldn’t use that to prove anything. He may or may not have had a beard. So what?
Then the male agent opened his folder and began showing her pictures.
“Do you recognize any of these men?”
Most of the pictures were of men wearing business suits standing in front of a pizza place. They looked as though they could be Italian, and were somewhat older than her husband. Slowly the raid on her apartment began to make more sense. These men were mob connected, that’s why there had been so many officers in those scary uniforms. It was all starting to make sense now as she began putting it together like pieces of a twisted jigsaw puzzle. She thought back to the night when her husband had called and said that he was coming home with a few business associates and they would need some privacy. He told her not to ask any questions and that she would be better off not knowing anything about it. When they came she had obediently stayed in the other room with the baby, the men were smoking anyway and she didn’t want the baby around that, she had rationalized at the time.
She hadn’t even seen them and now she was grateful that she could honestly answer no.
Until they showed her another picture....

They were banging on the outer door, the one that led into the hallway and they were banging so hard she was sure they would break it down. She started to run to the phone to call the police, when she heard them call out, “Open up, it’s the police”. Without even thinking, she obeyed the command and opened up her living room door. Her husband had already opened up the bedroom door and stepped into the hallway, and was now standing completely naked with a huge gun pointed at his head. Instinctively she moved towards him but an agent then moved towards her, pointing his rifle and telling her to step back into the apartment. Again she obeyed and was followed by a number of agents wearing helmets and masks, carrying shields and automatic weapons. They were dressed in black and their uniforms had the letters ATF written on them. Later she found out they were from the Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. There were about thirty of them, they could hardly fit into the tiny apartment. They didn’t say anything to her, but they proceeded to search the apartment, and she just stood there, unsure of what to do. But when they headed towards her daughter’s room, she followed them and watched her child sleepily get to her feet in her crib. When an agent bent down to look under her crib the child started to cry, so she went over and picked her up.


Finally some one spoke to her, it was a woman, in regular clothes, and she introduced herself as FBI agent Lynn Goodman. “Why don’t we sit down and talk?” They went in and sat on the couch. Agent Goodman tried to put her at ease by asking about the baby,
“How old is she?
What’s her name?”
And it worked, she had been afraid she might be so frightened that she’d be unable to speak, like that time in the subway station. She had been pregnant and was feeling very tired, so she left work five minutes early so she could catch an earlier train and get a seat. The stairway had been empty, but on the landing a man had grabbed her, pushed her up against the wall and began fondling her breasts. She had wanted to scream, but she couldn’t, no sound would come out, it was like she had no voice and she felt totally helpless. Luckily for her some people came by and the man ran off. But she was unable to force herself to take the subway after that, she had had to quit her job. And she felt like that now, totally helpless. But the female detective was being very nice and talking about her daughter came naturally to her and so she managed to get out a few short answers, and then the major question, “What’s going on?” she asked.

to be continued.....

She woke up to a ringing, it was the telephone, she glanced at the clock, 3:45. Who could that be at this hour? She got out of bed and walked into the kitchen feeling a sense of dread. A call in the middle of the night could only mean bad news, people with good news always call first thing in the morning. Oh you worry too much, she thought, maybe it’s just a wrong number. She picked up the phone and said hello. At first there was no voice on the other end of the line and no sound of anyone breathing, only some static and a clicking noise. Then she heard a voice in the background which said, “Okay, we got an answer.” Then they were disconnected.

How odd, she thought, someone was calling to see if they were at home. But why? It was a weeknight and she had a baby. She was always home at this hour. Was someone planning on breaking in? They lived in a tiny apartment and didn’t have anything worth taking. Her husband had been working nights as a bouncer in a bar. Maybe someone from work was looking for him. But he hadn’t worked that night and was home sleeping, and they didn’t ask for him. That call was really weird, should she wake him up? But what could he do about it? He would probably just tell her not to worry about it, and roll over and go back to sleep. That’s the way he was, he never worried about anything. She on the other hand often worried about all kinds of things. But he would comfort her, with those magic words, “Don’t worry honey, everything is going to be all right”. When he said that, as she lay beside him, she actually believed it. She loved him with all her being, she simply adored him. Those magic words had helped her deal with him being fired from his job, being unable to find another one, and his working at the bar.

Feeling very uneasy about the phone call, she went in to check on the baby. Luckily the phone had not woken her up and she was sleeping peacefully. She just stood there watching her beautiful child sleep, as if she were waiting for something to happen and wanted to make sure she would be right there to protect her baby. Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging on the door…….

To be continued....